Surfing through YouTube I came across an interview Katie Couric did with SK – II. It’s about 4 women who’s timelines don’t fit what society, family, or friends expect. I watched the 4 part mini documentary about how these women wanted to redefine what age we achieve these “goals” and how it was dictated by every person who influences our lives (if you’d like to watch click here and grab tissue). We all are made to think that if we don’t reach a certain point in our career or get married and start a family by a certain age we are failures. WRONG and I’m here to confirm and validate you boo because not following someone else road map for your life is okay, that’s why it’s called YOUR Life. And you deserve to be happy.
I’m six months shy of 27, a single mom, never been married(not even on my way to marriage), and I’m just now starting to figure out what I want to do with my life. I didn’t hit any of those “timeline goals” except have a baby young, but even then I’m looked down on because it was outside of marriage. I tried to rush some of those expectations and not only did it end horrible, I didn’t get any further. Not that I regret anything, I think those falls taught me valuable lessons on who I am and what I really want in life, but not accomplishing them by “25” I would be considered a huge failure.
Don’t get me wrong, I’ve always wanted to get married and have more kids but I never wanted that to be the focus of my life. Your ideal image of a mom/wife just doesn’t fit me. I was lucky I never got that pressure from my parents but it was still there with society and friends(and I sometimes still feel it). I did always feel the pressure of my parents to find a stable, supportive job that pays the bills. I remember telling my parents in high school I wanted to move to California and become a fashion designer because fashion and beauty was my first love. And as much as my parents didn’t mean any harm I think they wanted something more stable for me and to be close to home so I tucked away my big dream and went to a close college (something I never really wanted to do). I eventually dove into my job starting young and I was promoted to positions a young girl wasn’t expected to be in(Ya girl was blessed) but I was miserable and so unfulfilled. Then something in me changed drastically and I wanted to find happiness more than I wanted an income, even if that meant being in an uncomfortable, but temporary situation. I guess you could say I wanted to redefine standards my own family pushed on me. I’m still not sure what I want to do completely but I always manage to come back to health and beauty.
Huge lessons though it’s okay to be lost, I’ll find my way and you will too. Throw away these timelines other people create for you. You are in control of your life even if you want to please other people, it’s essential to please yourself first. Cause CHILE people pleasing is TOXIC and if you don’t know…… Well now you know. Dreams are meant to be yours, nobody is going to understand your life and walk because IT’S YOURS! So if you have a dream that seems out of reach by a certain time or age who’s saying you have to be there by then anyway? So let’s roll up those sleeves, work that dream, and stay SHINING!
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